Faith
by Kiryn
Summary: "Order you? What are you talkin' about? It means that I have faith you can win." -Phil, to Roxas, 358/2 Days. An introspection.


**WARNING: If you don't want to know anything at all about 358/2 Days, I suggest you read no further. I suppose this fic technically has spoilers, but nothing for the main plot. I think most people know what happens anyway, but I just thought I'd let you know! And as always, there's a little bit of swearing.**

**A/N: Here's a fun fact for you—I rather hate Phil in the Kingdom Hearts games. His so-called 'training' annoys the shit out of me, and for the most part he tends to be quite the asshole. So, I had no love for Phil, and he is one of many reasons that I hate going to the Coliseum. And then…then I played 358/2 Days. And in Days, Roxas eventually gets sent on a mission to O.C., and the poor thing winds up roped into Phil's training, and I'm thinking, "God damn it, will I never escape from Phil's training? In any game?" But then…I shocked myself by finding that I actually **_**liked**_** Phil in this game, because, wonder of wonders, he wasn't being a total douche! In fact, he was actually **_**nice**_** to Roxas, and gave him **_**compliments**_**. Seriously. In fact, in his own way, Phil was very sweet to Roxas, and I found it to be so cute and adorable, and I was like, "Aw, Phil, you have a soft spot after all!" I could hardly believe it though—Phil, douchebag extraordinaire to Sora and company, was being such a sweetheart to my poor Roxas. So, this is written in tribute to the interactions that I found to be quite touching. **

**Note that I have no Kingdom Hearts beta, so this is thus unedited. It was just something that I felt like writing, because I totally loved these scenes in the game. Mostly takes place during 358/2 Days, with a bit at the end in the Kingdom Hearts 2 timeline. Enjoy! As always, please review! Tell me what you think!**

**Disclaimer: In no way, shape, or form do I own Kingdom Hearts. It's a sad day for all, I know (literally for me, because pretty much the last third of Days had me balling my eyes out, mostly for Axel and a bit for Roxas and Xion, and for what could never be. God, how could you not cry during that game?). Dialogue is taken directly from Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days.**

Faith

He had never been a hero.

Through the ages, Greece was passed and swept through by heroes of all shapes and sizes. Those big guys…that's what earned Greece her fame, and the Olympus Coliseum became the setting for the prize jewel in her crown.

He wasn't one of those jewels. No, he was the one who set the jewels, fit them into place, made sure they were nice and tight, welded them to best set off their true shine and sparkle. He was the trainer of heroes. The best, if he did say so himself. And over the years he had been at his job, watching heroes come and go, he found that a trainer had to find a way to strike a delicate balance. He didn't coddle his trainees. Ain't a monster out there that was going to coddle them, so he understood that him doing it would do them no favor. He was harsh at times (a lot of the time), but the world was a harsh place. A hero couldn't stay inside and shut away from the real world all the time, with eyes closed tight. They'd find out eventually, and he figured it was better that he tell them sooner rather than later. Ignorance could get ya killed out there, and he was many things, but heartless wasn't one of them. Damn it, as annoying as they could be, those heroes were _his _boys. While he trained them, they were _his_ responsibility. He wasn't their mama, but there was a certain duty that he owed them: namely, not sending them out to die. And that's why he always reiterated his best advice to them, in the hope that it would sink in.

_Eat._

_Sleep._

_Train._

Really, what better advice could a person give? Keys to success, right there. And yet, so many people forgot these basic functions—they got caught up in complicated details and forgot simple truths. And he felt that it was part of his job to remind them. His boys were no good to him dead, or to anyone.

He'd been at this gig for year upon countless year. At least a century or two, he figured. And, especially back in those early days, he found out a hard truth, well…the hard way. And that was that he couldn't let himself get too attached to his trainees, his wannabe heroes. For all the training and hard work he put into them, they had an unfortunate tendency to be here one day, then gone tomorrow. So chumming up with them was a big no-no. And he did genuinely like a lot of them. Plenty had spunk, personality, a goal, a drive. He liked to see a fire in their eyes. But he couldn't ever let losing one get to him, because he had a job to do. He couldn't abandon it for the sake and loss of one person. There were tons of other wannabes out there who needed him!

He wasn't heartless. No matter how much he distanced himself from them, it still stung every time to lose one he trained, because he still _knew _them. Nothing could change or prevent that. But he kept going anyway. He remembered, and tucked the memories away inside his heart when the next rookie walked through his door.

Herc…well, Herc was one of the special ones. One those people you couldn't lock out of your heart, no matter how much you tried, and who touched it anyway. He just had to accept that. Sometimes, the people you meet in life are the ones who are meant to be there, who are meant to be connected with your heart, and he acknowledged it for what it was. When you go through so much with one person, you can't help but get attached to the kid.

Yes, Phil was no hero, but he was a trainer of them, and he prided himself on having a kind of eye for these things. He'd been in the business too long to let a gem slip past old Phil.

And what a gem that kid turned out to be, his prized rookie.

He was a busy guy, and he had ended up entrusting Herc, his special case, to go out and scout new potential trainees for him. Phil figured that he had already broken most of his personal rules with Herc, so what was a few more? Herc didn't have the discerning eye that he himself did, but he figured that Herc wasn't stupid, he'd be okay. A few bad choices here and there wasn't going to be the end of the world.

When he'd heard the commotion outside the Coliseum, curiosity and something…something else dictated that he go and have a shifty. At the very least, he didn't want to stay in a building that could potentially collapse on top of his head.

And so he'd found his rookie. Phil had that discerning eye, you know.

He'd seen a lot pass through his door, but this kid had been something else. Different. The kid was no hero, that was for sure. He could spot a hero a mile off, and this serious, baby-faced blond wasn't one. But something in his gut told him that there was a lot of potential here. And his gut hadn't been wrong yet.

The kid obviously was no pushover, and had a lot of talent. There was a kind of grace and fluidity in his movements. He had just decimated a group of Heartless, and he looked like he knew a thing or two about swinging those weapons.

Phil was interested enough to note to glittering keyblade gripped in a black glove-encased hand, but not interested enough to spend time thinking about it.

But it was also obvious to Phil that this kid was the kind that had had no one to teach him most of the ropes. He had to learn and teach himself, an edge of unevenness in his battle movements showed that. Well, it didn't matter if he'd never had a teacher before. Phil was here now. Maybe the kid wasn't a hero; he was getting a totally wrong vibe off of him. But he had never been adverse to taking in the unusual ones every now and again.

It was kind of funny, but that new kid—Roxas, his name was Roxas—he reminded Phil sometimes of another kid he had met not too long ago. S—he couldn't think of his name now, but he remembered that there had been a kid on an adventure that had passed through the Coliseum. Phil recalled finding him a bit annoying—too bouncy and happy for his taste. He rather thought that they both had the same eyes.

But Roxas wasn't like Phil's vague memories of that other kid. Much to his chagrin, Phil found that he was rather taken with this kid. Roxas was quiet—quiet, and his face too serious, at times. He had darkness lingering about him, but Phil dismissed it. There was darkness in everyone's heart, including his and Herc's, and the kid wasn't really a bad sort, just…lost. That was the word that would come to Phil's mind, should anyone ask him to describe Roxas in one word. Roxas was just so…sad, so lost looking. Roxas was just the kind of person that the world would let slip through the cracks. Phil tried not to care so much, but…Roxas was his rookie, one of his boys now. And he just couldn't in good conscience let a boy under his watch slip. People that slipped through cracks had a tendency to end up in bad shape, and that's if they survived the fall down.

It was like Roxas didn't have a clue about how hardly anything was supposed to work. Like nobody had told him how to think or feel or behave, how to act or react. He'd been tossed out into the world without knowing what its rules were supposed to be. He obviously knew there were rules, but they were invisible to him, out of reach of his understanding. Even the most normal things to Phil seemed to puzzle him.

"_You've come this far! Don't let anybody else walk outta here with your title! Remember-I'm expectin' stuff from you, kid!"_

"_Expecting... You mean you order me to win?"_

_Where the hell did he come up with that? _

"_Order you? What are you talkin' about? It means I have faith you can win." Hadn't he understood that? _

"_Faith..."_

His whole face had been confused. He'd had no idea what Phil had been talking about. Faith was a foreign concept to him, as if he'd never heard of such a thing before.

"_Right. Now get out there and knock some heads!" I'm sorry kid. I wish I could explain it to you. But it's not my place. It's someone else's job to tell you that, and I reckon probably more. There's only so much I can do for you. _

Phil knew that his Roxas wasn't meant to be a hero. He was going to be one of those that a Fate forced down a cruel path, and Phil knew that he could only pray that Roxas would be able to make the right choice. And Phil hoped that it would be one right for Roxas too, but in his heart of hearts, he doubted it. A longer shadow meant standing closer to the light, and Phil could see that darkness in Roxas, and the light from whence it was cast.

Nothing good ever happened to people like Roxas.

Still, Phil hoped. He wasn't heartless, after all. Knowing that something was going to happen and wanting it to were two different things. And his rookie had been so promising. Maybe not the quickest learner, but a good one. Quiet, diligent, and when he got something down, he absorbed it.

Phil told himself that he had done his best by Roxas. But he was a trainer, and if there was one thing he knew, training was only a stepping stone to a much greater destiny for heroes. Eventually, they would leave, and Phil would have to watch them go.

"_Hey, Roxas..."_

" _Yeah?"_

"_Don't be a stranger."_

But he was a stranger, because Phil never saw that rookie kid who had shown so much promise again. It stung a little, but he supposed that Roxas must have fallen through the cracks in the world, just like Phil had always feared he would. But he still wished the kid the best of luck, and hoped that he'd be okay.

Less than a month later, Phil found himself looking into familiar blue eyes—Sora, that was that one kid's name. And Phil couldn't stop himself from hugging him, because it was so nice to see sad blue eyes smiling for once.

_Attaboy, Roxas. Knew you were the right material._


End file.
